Have you ever been in a toxic and abusive relationship with someone? Have you tried fixing it or you are just inlove with the idea of being in a relationship and ignored the signs and red flags?
Couples at the beginning are full of love and joy, smile and laughters are endless. Those dates and late hang outs makes your heart flutter. Those hugs and kisses are too hard to end–until you came to know each other too well.
I have been in a toxic relationship before and thankfully not abusive but I can tell that you will not realize it’s toxic unless you are totally out of that relationship. Signs that you are in a toxic relationship (abused POV):
- It’s always your fault no matter what he/she did to you (talking about physically and mentally, let’s add emotionally), it’s always your fault. You always feel at fault all the time.
- You are mad at him/her when he/she cheated on you or do something bad but fall for him/her even harder when he/she “explained” to you and denied everything.
- You put him/her first before anyone else. Before anything else, even if it means loosing your dreams and goals especially your life and career.
- You don’t respect yourself anymore and just beg for his/her forgiveness, beg for him/her to not go (top of the list!)
- You know the truth but still choose to be blinded by your love ( or is it really love?)
- You will seek advice and comfort from your friends but won’t listen and choose to stay with him/her even you know for yourself it’s not healthy anymore. Even if it means losing your friends and family.
How to get away with it? Well it’s not easy, some people are abusive either, emotionally or physically. It’s even harder if it’s both. It may be easy to say this and I know it is hard:
- But always trust your guts, don’t wait until it’s too late.
- ALWAYS LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
- It’s okay to be afraid, it’s fine if you are afraid of him/her but always remember you have friends and family you can run in to.
- It’s hard but you have to help yourself, you have to step up for yourself and for your future.
- Don’t be denial and delusional. It’s hard to do this but you have to give it a try. Think of your happy times before you met him/her. You are happy even before he/she came to your life so you could do it also even when he/she isn’t there anymore.
- Go out and have some fun, breathe some air and laugh (don’t laugh alone please lol). Don’t sulk in and don’t let depression eat you.
- Always remember you are loved by many.
It’s really hard to get out of a toxic and unhealthy relationship, you just have to stay strong for your dreams and future with your family and friends. Be vocal, even if you can see your friends and family getting irritated and annoyed when you open your mouth to talk about him/her, it’s fine. They are not mad at you, they are concerned to the point of saying hurtful words to you just so you wake up from the nightmare you allowed to dream of. It’s okay to give up, sometimes giving up is not a sign of being a coward, sometimes it’s a sign of being strong because you are getting your self out from the situation that may drag you down. Especially when you are fighting to save your relationship yet he/she isn’t.
Giving up your life? Getting tired of it? Nahhh– run to your friends and family, they will give you a lot of reason to move forward.
We are here for you.
I’AM HERE FOR YOU.